The Shredi Master

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Location: Iowa, Afghanistan

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Friday, September 30, 2005

Day of the living dead

This almost sounds like a Halloween post. There's a pale guy that's been skulking about the cubicles today, drooling and groaning as he stares blankly off into space. That guy is me. "Here are the sales orders you wanted," they say. "Arrrggghh!" Dribble. Dribble. Co-workers scurry away in fear. They know the only things that can appease me are chocolate milk and Chicken Noodle Soup - neither of which the average white collar offcie worker wanders around with.

I crave not thine TPS reports or thine Order Updates. NO. I need cough syrup and Zithromax!

Anyway, tonight I'll try to lave the cold sweats and the excessive drooling, slow impaired speech and child like swagger behind as I press forward toward Des Moines. Then on to Springfield. And so on until I have consumed all of the chocolate milk and chicken and stars soup I can find!